This is dedicated to all the expensive gadgets of the world, and to all you who got one. Micah doesn’t have one, and he never will. We want to keep it that way, but we pride ourselves on our ability to describe the gadgets and what they do. We hack them, we crack them, we test them and molest them — but we don’t give them to Micah, because then he’d have one like everybody else.
Joey “Pan Irigator” Tehranian – AKA, the Early Adopter, AKA The Terror from Tehran, AKA Brokeback. Joey was born way in a cornfield. He always has shit first and he usually shares – just not with Micah. He works as a professional YouTube content screener and was the first grown man in the Czech Republic to “have one”.
Peter Karvinen – AKA, The Finn, AKA Garfield. Peter’s background is hazy, and he doesn’t usually get one until it has been proven to be functional as well as stylish. He takes the attitude that “If I don’t need one, I won’t get one… unless it is simply to have around in case Micah believes he might like one.”
Adam “It’s be cooler if it ran Flex” Trachtman – Adam was born on a hippy commune in a small city south of Boston. By the time Micah gets one, he’s already sold his on ebay at a profit.