The clandestine release has taken consumers by surprise – the good news? No hacking required! The iPhone Shuffle accepts any GSM network sim and holds up to 2000 contacts and music tracks. According to the Apple website, “users can enjoy crystal clear calling to any of their friends or family, randomly selected from their contact list.”
Battery issues are expected, as the device has not yet reached beta testers, but the Apple site insists that the device will be compliant with industry standards. “Greenpeace can go blow themselves,” says spokesman Sam Beckwith. The iPhone Shuffle uses the same amazing touch-screen technology as the iPhone and runs a stripped-down version of Apple’s new Leopard OS, code-named “Pussy”.
Obviously, Micah doesn’t have one.
This is dedicated to all the expensive gadgets of the world, and to all you who got one. Micah doesn’t have one, and he never will. We want to keep it that way, but we pride ourselves on our ability to describe the gadgets and what they do. We hack them, we crack them, we test them and molest them — but we don’t give them to Micah, because then he’d have one like everybody else.
Joey “Pan Irigator” Tehranian – AKA, the Early Adopter, AKA The Terror from Tehran, AKA Brokeback. Joey was born way in a cornfield. He always has shit first and he usually shares – just not with Micah. He works as a professional YouTube content screener and was the first grown man in the Czech Republic to “have one”.
Peter Karvinen – AKA, The Finn, AKA Garfield. Peter’s background is hazy, and he doesn’t usually get one until it has been proven to be functional as well as stylish. He takes the attitude that “If I don’t need one, I won’t get one… unless it is simply to have around in case Micah believes he might like one.”